Lately I have had the feeling that life has plotted with my adversaries to make things difficult for me. With the snow and all things as such, I missed almost two weeks of school. Normally, that isn't a big deal. However, when one has classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and one of those classes is an eight-week class, missing a week and some change is pretty rough. In order to catch up with the syllabus, my Spanish teacher instigated a battery of tests for the following four class periods: take a test and learn the next chapter, come back, take a test and learn the next chapter, etc. Thank God and His mercy that that is over.
I still feel like I'm playing catch-up with life, though. I can't get up early enough to get everything done that needs to be done. Work, school, sleep, the gym, eating half-way decently, laundry: keeping my life in a general state of orderliness has become a huge challenge. I go to bed exhausted and end up sleeping later than planned, and then I am running two steps behind the rest of the world. Like today: I wanted to get up, go to the gym, go to Shades of Brown (favorite coffee shop ever) to do some homework, and go to work. Instead, I slept late, managed to get to work on time, and NOW I'm at Shades, exhausted and barely functioning.
At this point, I feel like I need to just survive for the coming weeks until spring break, but I don't want to just survive. I want to do well. I got into OSU with good grades, and I don't want to slack off just because I'm in. I just can't motivate myself to push for that goal.
I am in a state of subdued panic (because I don't have the energy for full blown panic) and foreboding, like there is a storm coming and I know that it is coming and it will be awful and there is absolutely nothing I can do except dread it.
Oh. Did I mention that the storm is expected to arrive tomorrow? Bright and early tomorrow with a 5-8 minute speech that I haven't really started yet. It is an expansion of a 3-5 minute speech we already did, but I need to come up with more examples and details. Then there is the literature class for which I haven't read the assignment or started the essay, for which the due date WAS the 20th, but my teacher is rescheduling it, so the date is TBA. Every good reason to procrastinate, right? Then there is my three hour Spanish class, for which I have not done the online homework for the last several assignments because the due date is also open-ended. However, this is the class that is eight weeks, and those eight weeks are nearing an end, so I am feeling more and more inclined, but still not motivated, to do those assignments.
Dear God, help me, please. Give me the strength, motivation, determination, and inclination to do all that I need to. Through You, I can do all things.
Hon, this lack of energy thing could be more than just burnout. Sounds like what I ran into my senior year. You might need to get your thyroid and endocrine system checked. In the mean time, protein and B12, yo.
ReplyDeleteEase up on yourself, Sally... Tomorrow will come with its own worries and cares. But today, today you have I AM. You know, daily bread is more than food and money. It's your daily portion of "on earth as it is in heaven." Everything he has for you. Provision, protection, and revelation. In bite size. Nom.
I miss you. I see you're crazy busy, but whenever you get your head above water (or need help doing so) give me a buzz.
Love ya.