Snowpocalypse 2011.

I am sure we all remember the Ice Storm of 2007 (was it REALLY four years ago?!) when Satan decided to take up lodgings in the Midwest. Death, destruction, snow, ice, more ice, power outages, no school, the list goes on.

Our tree was never the same. 

Neither were those. 

Apparently this is from another ice storm. I am seriously sitting on the ice. This picture is from the one in January. 

Well, we have another storm coming. The hype started on Saturday, when I saw there was a "Significant Weather Alert" for Stillwater. That snowballed (yes, pun intended) into a "Winter Weather Alert", a "Winter Weather Watch", a "Winter Weather Warning", and finally "Blizzard Alert". Seriously. We are supposed to get a blizzard. 

Fortunately, it held off while I was driving home from work. It was very windy though. You know the feeling you get when you can hear the wind, and it's blowing really hard, but it hasn't hit your car yet? I had that feeling the whole way home. 

Now the storm has actually hit. I can hear the ice bouncing off the windows, and the ground is already covered. Tomorrow will be very interesting.  

Until then, I am sincerely yours, with a mug of mint tea. 

Why do we do it?

So I was going to post something about how lovely this weekend was and how sad I was to see it go, and I thought "Who is going to want to read this?" And then I thought "Why do I blog in the first place?" And then I thought "For whom do I blog?"

Really. Why do we blog? Do we blog for our readers? For ourselves? For a specific cause? Sure, there are blogs with a specific purpose - covering sports , delicious recipes , etc. But what about the rest of us? Why do we blog?

I, for one, enjoy the edification of comments on my posts. But we all enjoy being noticed and knowing that someone reads our ramblings. Is this just a cry for attention? For some, it's a creative outlet. I want my blog to become a creative outlet, but I know that at this moment, it is far from that. Do we blog to rant about how much our lives suck? I wouldn't want to burden you or anyone with my complaining. I don't like complaining anyway. It makes me feel gross and moldy. And on that rabbit trail, my life doesn't suck. I have a wonderful family, a great job, a fantastic boyfriend, and a French press. What more do I need? Do we blog to simply talk about our day, like a journal? Written journals, in leather-bound books of old, blank, yellowed paper that smells like one hundred years of history when you open them and see their emptiness begging to be filled, are much more personal. Or do we muse about ideas, faith, opinions, and hobbies, and hope that maybe someone else out there will see it and agree so that we know we are not completely alone and off our rockers?

What do you think? Why do YOU blog? This isn't rhetorical. I don't really know why I blog. I just know that I enjoy it.

It's been a crazy last few days. Okay maybe a crazy week and a half. Two weeks ago we found out that the main sewer line from our house connecting to the city sewer line is non-existant, and there is no way of telling how long it has been like that. So.... All of our laundry water, shower water, dish water, toilet water... and other things... have been just seeping into our yard. It's a miracle it's not a marsh. And doesn't stink to high heaven. Long story short, our yard is STILL a mess - the snow made everything wet and they have to wait for it to dry to fill the hole. But we are able to use the water now, so no more hotels. Even though I really enjoyed the king sized bed. Yes please.

Also, I FINALLY got the okay to move to an apartment/house Stillwater, so I am trying to find a place.

And I'm trying to get ready for Winter Court this weekend. For those of you who don't know, Winter Court is the formal event of my itsy bitsy high school. As an alum and former Queen of Winter Court, I get to go back. Here's hoping my little brother gets King. Even though he is a junior, he is eligible because juniors and seniors are on the ballot. The middle and high schoolers vote for who they think most deserves the title of King or Queen based on their character.

This is Austin and me as King and Queen of Winter Court in 2009. 

So as you can see, it's a pretty nice formal event. Very exciting. I will be sure to post pictures of this year. 

I have been so busy this week that I feel like I have not had time to take a minute for myself. Or God. Which is more important than taking time for myself. Hopefully on the drive to Stillwater tomorrow morning (to take my transcript, talk to an advisor, and get in my name at the Starbucks) I can have some time for both of us. 

Time to grow up

Watching my grandparents get older and figuratively (and literally) waste away - my grandma has lost 50 pounds pretty recently due to a new extremely restrictive diet and no teeth - I have come to realize that age stops for no one. Today at lunch my mom, out of the blue, asked me if I had ever thought about what kind of mother I would be. Either this was completely arbitrary, or she knows something I don't. That started me thinking about my plans for next year, and the year after, and what I am going to do with my life, and when I am going to get married, and what kind of home I want, and how many kids I want, and how many dogs I can handle at one time, and where I want to live with all these kids and dogs and husband.

And then I realized that I am really excited to grow up.

I hear it's not all it's cracked up to be, but still. It's worth a shot. I can't wait to have my own place next year and do the dishes and clean the bathroom and mop the floor and all those other menial tasks. The idea of being on my own and making my own food and *insert myriad of other exciting things people do when they live alone* positively thrills me.

But I also realized that all this will take an adult. Not a 20 year old kid who has been living off of her parents at home and going to community college and working at Starbucks. That's not me or anything...

So it's time for me to grow up. I see myself as pretty responsible, but living on my own and going to school *at OSU yeah yeah* and working will take that responsibility to a whole new level.

It's going to be a challenge, but I am chomping at the proverbial bit to take it on.

Bring it, adulthood. I'm ready. I think.

I am barely into the new semester and I am already experiencing a great lesson in procrastination and its various forms of evil. So here I am, taking yet another break from Spanish, munching on Starbucks Chocolate Dipped Madeleines *sooo good* and sipping an Iced Caramel Macchiato. Not only am I slacking, but I am getting fat in the process.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to concentrate tonight. I have a Spanish test on Thursday, which my teacher says will be the hardest of the semester, and I didn't study over the weekend. This is the prefect opportunity to correct that mistake, and here I am... Blogging. I understand the grammar area of the language well enough. Grammar is kind of my thing. Vocabulary is my weak point. I know enough to get the gist of the text, but why settle for the gist? Why not get the whole picture?

I'm lazy. No really. I am.

I got through high school with minimal studying, and I got academic scholarships for my first year of college. I have a 4.0 GPA (not trying to brag here... okay maybe a little) because I find most studying to be more a part of life that isn't horrible and less "Ugh my soul is shriveling up as I read this chapter." Except for Spanish. So my flesh is saying, "Sweetie... Enjoy those madeleines. Go to bed now. You have a big day tomorrow. Sleep while you can." But my brain is saying, "Are you freaking crazy? You KNOW you aren't going to be studying tomorrow. You have to work and Austin is coming into town. You have to study tonight or you will not be ready for the test. No one cares what the weather men say about it snowing four inches on Thursday. You know that TCC won't close and you will have to go take that test and be completely unprepared. And whose fault will that be? That's right. Yours." And then my flesh responds with, ".....But you're so tired! You didn't sleep well last night. Go to bed. You know you want to."

I suppose the first step to kicking procrastination in its fat butt is getting off of here.

Goodbye Blogspot. Hello Spanish.

Best sandwich to ever hit your unsuspecting taste buds.

So I just made this sandwich. It is freaking awesome. How can you achieve sandwich success? Well, I'll tell you.

Freaking Awesome Sandwich

Two pieces of whole wheat bread (I used Nature's Own 100% Whole Wheat).

One avocado, smashed and lightly salted (lumpy is okay).

Deli sliced turkey (I used Hillshire Farms Oven Roasted Turkey Breast) or your choice of meat.

Two slices of provolone cheese (I used Sargento Natural Provolone).

Baby spinach leaves (I used Organic Girl Baby Spinach).

Alfalfa sprouts.

Sliced tomato.

Spread the avocado on the two slices of bread - it replaces mayo. Add the sliced turkey in whatever fashion and quantity you desire. Layer on the provolone cheese. Add the sliced tomato. Top with a generous amount of baby spinach. On the other piece of bread, add the alfalfa sprouts, gently pressing them into the avocado so they don't go everywhere. Very carefully place that piece of bread on top of the mountain of goodness. Vola. Sandwich. Enjoy with iced tea and lots of napkins. 

I enjoy this sandwich because all of the ingredients themselves are subtle enough in taste, but when combined, they create a medley of blissful awesomeness. And it's healthy, so props to that! 

By the way, you may be wondering why I am eating turkey and cheese while I am supposed to be fasting. Usually it takes me a few days to get over a cold, but I am STILL sick. I am on the tail end of it, but still. I was not getting the nutrients (excessive protein) my body needed, and it was no good. We are planning to try another fast that is not so extreme. My body couldn't handle the multiple stressers of being sick and a drastic change in diet, and Austin, as an architecture student, has to pull all-nighters on a regular basis, and he needs the extra nutrients too. Maybe this diet will work better in the summer when delicious farmers markets are on every street corner. 

Practice what you preach

Here I talked about loving God and trusting Him to take care of the rest. While that post was relevant to my life in a sort of "this could happen to you and it probably will" way, I realized I am smack in the middle of a "real life happening now" situation. I am in the process of sorting out an issue with two people who I love and respect very much.We don't have frequent conflicts, so when we do, it's really very stressful. I won't burden you with the details because, honestly, you don't need to know.

Anyway, I was just thinking about how distressing this situation was, and boom, I feel like God said, "Why aren't you trusting me with this?" And why wasn't I? Because, frankly, it's feels so much better to worry, worry, worry. Am I right? I said, "Am I right?" (Sorry. Charlie Brown moment.) So now all that's left is giving this issue to my Daddy in Heaven, because, really, what do I have to lose? Oh, wait, that's right. Nothing.

What is really important here?

I was downstairs tonight, drinking coffee with soy milk (That part of my fast is going well, and I just got back from the grocery store with a haul of delicious *hopefully* food. Does anyone have some good tofu recipes? Because I got a block of tofu without actually having a concrete plan for its demise.) and listening to my dad and brother talk about stocks and the economy and money and stressful-doom-and-gloom things. I wasn't really listening because I was telling my brother's friend the story of my crazy roommates from last year and how they got really, REALLY drunk and trashed our apartment while I was gone one night. (Now I am really shy of roommates, hence the living at home for now. That's another ramble for another time.) Then my dad said something that got my attention: "In twenty years, the dollar will be obsolete."

Twenty years? Twenty years ago was 1991. Jelly shoes. Pink jeans. White athletic socks that go up to your knees. Wearing all of the above together. "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. was the top pop song of the year. Twenty years seems like a long time, considering that's how long I have been alive. Well, almost twenty-one years. I was a '90 child. But looking into the future, twenty years doesn't seem very long, especially considering how much change will have to happen if the dollar is to indeed become obsolete in that amount of time. I am no economist - I'm an English major, for goodness' sake - but I know enough to understand that it is very possible that the dollar may not live to see 2021.

A lot could change by then. Hopefully, I will have graduated college, gotten a doctorate of some sort and be teaching Literature at some university, driving a BMW and living in a pretty cool house with my handsome husband, perfect children, and *insert big, gorgeous, well-behaved dog here*. I would be an awesome cook (No repeat of last Valentine's Day when I didn't cook the whole chicken long enough. It's a miracle that Austin and I didn't die of salmonella.), and I would wear pearls in the kitchen like Julia Child.

That all sounds pretty great, right? I mean, I think it does. But what about non-material things? Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and thieves break in and steal. Instead, store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moths and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I love how the Message version puts it: "Don't hoard treasure down where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or - worse! - stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars! It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is the place you will most want to be, and end up being."

After my dad mentioned the dollar becoming obsolete, my first reaction was to worry about what was going to happen to me and my plans for the future. Then I realized that even if the dollar was going to stick around for a thousand-billion-gazillion more years, my well-laid plans could, and probably would, be changed, no matter how much effort I put into them. But I know one thing that will not ever change, and that is God's love and provision for those who love Him. Why worry about what is going to happen in twenty years? God has it all under control, and He isn't worried. Why should I be? He doesn't need me to worry for Him.

Several months ago, I was dealing with an issue that I couldn't shake, no matter how hard I tried, and I was getting really discouraged in my failure. The thought came to me: Love God, and everything else will follow in due course. Saint Augustine said "Love God, and do as you please." I won't have anything to worry about if I keep my focus on God. He will take care of my every, single need (does a BMW count as a need?), and all he asks in return is that I love Him. Sounds pretty simple when you get down to it, doesn't it? I'm not kidding anybody, least of all myself. It will be hard, but so very rewarding.

I love God a whole lot, but sometimes it's easy to forget that He is up there, watching, while I live life in my comfortable, middle-class way. Wealth can breed a false sense of security, and all we need is one windfall of disaster (Job, anyone?) and we are screaming at God about why this happened and we never did anything to deserve this. But it's that sense of security that turned into the thinking that we are okay and we don't need anyone or anything to help us out. So God comes along and taps us on the shoulder - sometimes a gentle tap, sometimes an earth-shaking tap - to get our attention off of ourselves and back onto Him. I won't even kid myself that I can make it through life without that happening (I'm human, like you and everyone else on this planet), but I hope that this fast will get me a little more in tune with God and His plans. Maybe then He won't have to tap so hard when He is sending a change-of-your-plans memo.

Realistic and Not Far-Fetched

Who else likes snow? I love it. But only when it's in the air. When I am at work, I can see a parking lot light (one of those on the big poles.. I know they have a real name) from the window and last night the snow was so pretty as it floated down past the light pole. Light pole... Is that it's real name? Someone should come up with a cooler name. Anyway, snow on the ground melts and then freezes and wreaks havoc on Tulsans, who, unfortunately, have no idea how to drive in such weather.

Oh, also I got sick yesterday. So now I am sitting a home, having skipped my first day of classes due to the fact that Niagara Falls decided to relocate to my nose and the Arnold Schwarzenegger we all know and love from The Terminator is flexing his copious muscles in my sinuses. So... I am curled in a big comfy chair, eating chips and homemade guacamole (I can't type a sentence without going back for more - it's that good), and looking out at the rapidly diminishing snow. Today has given me time to think about what needs to be done in my life. There are the typical, over-used and under-achieved ideas of losing weight, fitting back into my high school jeans, de-cluttering my life, become blogger of the year... Need I say more? Unfortunately, all of these things are MUCH easier said than done, so I came up with a list of realistic and not far-fetched things I can do with relative ease:

1. At the beginning of December, I ordered a Star Wars Rebel Alliance logo window sticker on Amazon. It is still sitting on my dresser. So number one: put the freaking sticker on my rear window.

2. Finish this guacamole. Mmmmm nomnomnom.

3. De-clutter my room. This is kind of a big task, but smaller than de-cluttering my life.

4. Find an apartment in Stillwater. My plan is to transfer to the Starbucks out there (with my shining recommendations and stellar barista skills) sometime during the summer, depending on when that store would need me the most. Having a place to live would be good too, so I am on the hunt. If anyone knows of a two bedroom house or apartment relatively close to campus up for grabs, let me know? I have a friend who recently got A LOT more incentive to go to OSU with me *a boy!* so the loft apartment dream has turned into a two-bedroom house/apartment dream. Preferable: wood floors, intact roof, any place to set my French press. I'm not picky. Too picky, that is.

5. Accumulate things to put in the afore-mentioned apartment.

I recently finished watching first and, tragically, only season of Firefly and the sequel Serenity with Austin, and I have developed a Nathan Fillion crush. Oh yes. It doesn't help that I am already slightly obsessed with Castle, too. Speaking of which... New Castle episode in my Hulu Queue. See ya.

The Return

So I'm back. I honestly don't believe that anyone actually missed me during my silence, but whatever. I hope that I can make blogging a habit. I don't think I will ever have many readers - why would I? But I feel that writing every day, or every few days, will help me cultivate my writing hobby.

Over the last few weeks I have realized something. I realized that people are human. And human means that they aren't perfect. I have idolized people in my life: my boyfriend, my parents, coworkers, even this blogger couple I have been reading lately. I think that these idolized people can do no wrong ever. And then they do, and I am disappointed. It's a natural reaction, I suppose. But why do I feel so hurt and disappointed when this happens? Why do I idolize these people in the first place? I finally figured it out.

I have this void in my life and I am trying to fill it with people.

Can anyone else see the problem with this? I keep depending on these human people to be a constant source of something in my life, but how can they be? They can't. It's not humanly possible.

So how do I fill this void? Knowing with what to fill it is easy. I need to fill it with God and His word. Actually filling it will be hard. I have a tendency to get into a good routine, and then something happens to throw it off and I never get back into the groove of it. Last year, when I lived in Claremore, I had a fantastic routine of working out, eating yogurt and blueberries and reading my Bible while I waited for my adrenaline to calm down, and then I would go to bed. That went very well for a few months, until I gave blood and couldn't follow my workout routine that night. So the next night I found an excuse to forgo my ritual. And the next night I found another excuse. That was the end of my wonderful workout/Bible-reading routine.

For the new year, Austin and I agreed to begin a Daniel fast, a fast in which we eat fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and cut out processed foods, sugars, all forms of meats, and most fats. The purpose of this fast, for me, is to, cliche as it sounds, get closer to God. I have strayed away so much over the last year, and I had no idea. I still called myself a conservative Christian, but in listening to my brother talk about political and theological matters, I came to the rattling conclusion that I have become more diluted in my faith than I had thought. I know I am wrong in some of my thoughts and beliefs now, but how to fix them is my issue. I am not even sure where I am wrong on some points; I am only sure that I am. So. My purpose for fasting is to discover what I believe and why. I do not want to hold an opinion because my parents hold it. In fact, I think that one reason I fell away is because I did not want to hold the same opinion as my parents. Some of the conservative talk that my mom spouts on a regular basis makes me uncomfortable, but I think that is because I don't have the same passion that she does. I'm not really passionate about anything, except abortion and coffee. I need to acquire some passion about my faith.

So my goals for the fast: Figure out what I believe and why, and become passionate about it.

It is my fear that I will fail in the fast, and it is my prayer that I will succeed, both in the eating and the purpose behind the eating.